whimsical flights of fancy

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two pieces please!

Friday, January 06, 2006

I wanted to start my virgin entry for 2006 with a shout-out for all my favourites, but I got lazy and well... It's already the sixth day of 2006. Maybe soon huh...

So I was on leave from work yesterday. Went to JB with Yan because we're Singaporeans like that and we want cheap food, cheap buys and cheap deals because we're cheap like this (Hurhur I talk like Ley).

Had sushi for lunch. Wah that was the first time I eat Japanese full tanpa waswas dan sekenyang-kenyang nya! After that I walked like a Sumo wrestler hurhur... Ok tak funny.

We decided to have dinner at Secret Recipe. The food is so much cheaper compared to the Secret Recipe in Singapore. It's like, same price, but in Ringgit Malaysia. It's a bargain, I tell ya.

So this is the scenario eh sila~

Yan and Awin walked into Secret Recipe, waiting to be welcomed and our table showed to us. But nooo... So we pandai-pandai jalan masok dalam sendiri cari tempat duduk. But before we walked 2 steps, a waiter stopped us and said "Excuse me, that table cannot use! Reserved for four only!" I turned and looked at him. Nak marah sekali tak jadi sey pasal dia ialah Mak Nyah. So I said "Well ok but you didn't show us our seats so how are we to know..." He looked at me blankly.

Waiter: Table for how many people?

Me: Two please.

Waiter: Two pieces? Ok eh table for two PIECES! This way ehh...

Yan and Awin: (??)

EH SILA EH!! TWO PIECES KEPER!! CAN SOMEONE TELL ME IF 'PLEASE' SOUNDS LIKE 'PIECES'?? Pekak betul lah Nyah ni!!

AND CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU REFER TO PEOPLE AS 'PIECES' !!! MAKKAU. KEPALAHOTAKKAULA NYAAARR..... PIECES. "Can that piece of boy at the back of the classroom please stand up". "Hi, can I have a piece of boyfriend for my birthday if that's not too much to ask for..." "Wah that piece of a guy is hawt siaaalll... I want."

Kesian.

Yan and I were holding our laughter while he showed us our table.

And then in true fashion, we made fun of him after he left.

Ok ni part best. Take note eh, same Nyah Waiter.

Me: Hi can I know, for your Fish & Chips right, how do you cook it? Is it dipped in flour batter or breadcrumbs?

Waiter: (blank look)

Me: Yah... So... (Raised left eyebrow)

Waiter: Oh it depends on the cook. Like some places, they cook differently right? Here, it's cooked differently. It's standard lah, STANDARD.

Me: Oh ok. So it's two PIECES right? (Hurhur)

Waiter: Yah two piece of fish (note the absence of plural). STANDARD.

Me: Oh ok never mind. Just get me the Chicken in Turmeric Sauce. And Chicken cutlet in Mexican for the gentleman.

After taking our orders, I asked him to repeat our orders. "One Apple Juice, one Lemon Tea, one Grilled Chicken and one Chicken."

Me: What's that chicken? The other one... Not the Grilled Chicken?

Waiter: Erm... Chicken (Blank look)

EH APA NI INI NYAH!! BUAT AKU CONFUSE SIAK!! AKU RUNSING LAH NYAAARR... Apparently he doesn't know the pronounciation of 'turmeric'!! He was avoiding saying it!! Kau darah up siak. Hurhur...

But I shouldn't be so mean horr... Kesian dia. He must have spat on my food before serving them.

Ho-well. Patut lah sedap.

the enigma was spotted at 18:24