Because my maternal instincts are kicking in, I'm thinking of having babies. But I don't want a husband. I just want kids without husbands. Then I realised I CAN do that - the un-halal way. Tsk. But I don't want to do that... Aiyerr so difficult. Howw...

Anyway, I thought of my kids' names already. CONFIRM. If they're girls, I'll name them Aura first, then Audi. But I like Zeta also. Tsk. Decisions, decisions... And if it's a boy, I'll name him Adam. Then I feel that Adam is quite common. So I've decided on Edem instead. And another boy will be named Eren. As in, Aaron, geddit? Konon style ahh... A name with a twist. Haha.

(Doesn't matter what my future husband will say lah right... Pergi mampos.)

The pantry-auntie said that I won't have any daughters. She predicted I'll have two sons. You know how she predicted so? She tied a string to my ring, put it over a bowl of water, put my right hand in between the bowl and the ring, and she let the ring swing gently over my hand. I don't how she sees it lah but apparently, the patterns the ring made told her that I'll only have sons. Kepalahotakkau lah... Nonsense. Jangan pandai-pandai eh sila~

So yeah... I can't wait to have babies. Just so I can give them names hurhur...

I'm all psyched up for tomorrow!!

I can't wait! Dates with the girls are always a riot. I predict that tomorrow's no exception. What I'm looking forward to is the fact that it's gonna be at a private place. So we can laugh like mad and don't give a hoot.

Ley, let's forget about everything, what say you.

Tomorrow, girls. Make me happy.

Ok latest update. Details for iftar this Saturday.

Venue: Warung by the Padang @ SRC serving, what else, Nasi Padang. Hurhur.

Place to meet: City Hall Mrt Station, 6 p.m. (I know I should be the last person to say this but, PLEASE DON'T BE LATE)

Price: $10++/pax

Dress code: You girls know it

Mood for that day: 'Tis the day to let your hair down

Girls: Awin, Eli, Jila, Leyana, Fidza, Maz, Suhana, Nurah & Ju (we want Ratna)

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So he's left for Australia. There goes my sole distraction. Bleargh.

Stayed till 8 p.m. last evening. Was alternating between work and chatting with Ley on MSN. It was a riot, lah... I told her I was feeling down in the dumps and feeling absolutely rotten but she made me laugh again. Thanks, dearie...

So this is a gist of what we discussed. She told me that she and I, we're like the Washington apples. We're so expensive and so high up in the tree, it's hard for them apple-pickers to get us. Only those apple-pickers who are brave and willing to risk his life for us would see our worth. And take the trouble to pick us. Whereas all those easy girls (and may I add here, boyfriend-snatchers), are the Del-Monte apples. Those apples at the lower part of the tree. For the sheer reason that they're cheap and easily gotten. And for those apples that are on the ground, it doesn't take much effort to pick them up, innit?

So yeah, you may not get what I'm trying to say, but that made me feel tonnes better by the end of the day.

And also because that certain someone new messaged me that I'm quite a good catch (or somewhere along that line). I guess if circumstances are a bit different, he could be the apple of my eye. Haha pun intended.

Now all I have to do is, think of Washington Apples, and read that message again =)

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These girls' attendences are required this Friday for iftar. And Jila, no. NOT on a Saturday.

Awin, Eli, Jila, Ley, Ratna, Maz, Suhana, Fazy, Nurah, Fidza and Farena, and the rest who wants to join us, you're welcome to. Please do the calling and messaging, people. I'm quite tired of being the organizer.

Venue: Esplanade (specific place a secret due to some interests)

Time: 1815hrs

Dress code: Gorgeousness, as always.

Don't disappoint us, girls.

I must be a compulsive-obsessive shopper. Cos I need company to go Mango. I saw a lovely top last Thursday and have been fantasizing about it ever since. See I'm trying to contain my desires ok... I didn't buy it then. I thought about it during the weekend and am still thinking about it now. Ahh itchy backside, itchy fingers. Mopiko, please...

And then I wonder if I should go cut my hair. Buang suey, Eli said. My fringe is now kinda floppy and the ends feel like there are ten thousand roaches legs brushing against the nape of my neck. Should I cut it? Eli says No. What if not nice? Hari Raya is approaching and I can't risk having retarded hair. No doubt I said I won't be celebrating it with joy this year but still... But, but I miss my long hair... I should be growing them out right? In order to be a Wanita Melayu Terakhir. Tsk.

Decisions, decisions.

Over the week, I've learnt some things from some people whom I, under normal circumstances, won't even hold light conversations with.

Lesson 1: Be flexible in relationships.

I was talking to my my primary school-mate of eons ago. Halfway through, I asked him: "Hey wouldn't your girlfriend mind, us talking? Does she know?" He said, no she doesn't. Me: "Well aren't you gonna tell her?" He: "Later lah... I know what you're thinking. But you see, in relationships right, you must have an understanding. Doesn't mean that just because you're in a relationship, you only have to talk to your girlfriend/boyfriend. You can talk to other girls also. Just so you know the boundaries."

Is it? Hmm... Interesting. Oh but you know what? Some guys don't know ANY boundaries. Maybe they forgot they have a girlfriend in the first place. So much so that they go look elsewhere. For some younger flesh, perhaps.

It got me thinking for awhile after that. I'd like to be flexible some day. Imperative words here: Some day. I'll bear in mind though, what he said.

Lesson 2: It's easier to talk to strangers about your problems than anyone else.

Yeah I've tried. Maybe because you've not seen or known this person before, therefore there's no way where you care he would judge you. And then maybe a bit of flirting at the side. Just to add some fun.

Oh shit.

I try to not let it happen, but it happened nonetheless. Oh yes it did.

This cannot be, you know...

I mustn't lose sight of reality.

Anyway, my backside itchy to go out and partay. Or just go out and slack. But my two girls denied me of the fun. All busy, busy, busy. How now says the brown cow...

I might just catch a movie. Tonight. Solo, baby.

(Unless of course, there's another lonely soul around. Be with me?)

First things first. I just realised Fidza tagged me into this. So being a good person and being not-too-free-but-can-spare-a-few-minutes, I'll do this.

1) Close To You - The Carpenters (I'm being biased, since it's the song playing now on my blog)

2) Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper

3) Belly-Dancer - Akon (haha... Minah lah right... They like to play this song at Hard Rock. But I suspect I'm a closet-minah all along. In fact, if I had been in a mixed-school, I'd be those Anak Met yang pukul bantai punya lah!!)

4) La Isla Bonita - Madonna (orchids and bare-feet on sand, please)

5) Suasana Di Hari Raya - Anuar Zain & Ellina (semangat Hari Raya lah lai lai!!)

As you can see, I swear I'm actually a 30 year old trapped in a 22 year old body. I don't know why I love old songs so much. I'll start feeling nostalgic and melodramatic. Like just now, I heard Girls Just Wanna Have Fun at Watsons and I did a little jiggy when I was sure nobody's watching. And then realised a staff standing obscurely behind some display staring suspiciously at me. Eh, aku punya seluar dalam ahh... Apa stare-stare...

The Mr. Buble is in town performing tonight... I'm feeling kinda shitty cos I've been asking people if they're going, and discovering that nobody's going. Kinda sad I'm gonna miss it. Never mind darlin'. You're in my heart and in my discman. Cheyybah discman. Orang semua dah iPod entah haper kebabai aku masih discman ehh haha... Takper, gadgets ni semua tak important. Yang important all bills are paid. Aku kan family-woman.

I'm stuck at work. And perhaps blogging is my way of de-stressing. Going Geylang for some look-see with a colleague. Tak dapat tengok Buble, abang Geylang jual bunga pun jadi lah! I was so tempted to just buy my tix for tonight, then my colleague screamed at me "OII..!! Abeh Geylang macam mana...!" So if I forsake her to watch the concert tonight, I'd be doing the Bubble-my-colleague-to-see-the-Buble. Hahaha... Funny right...

Ok lah... Lai lai abang Geylang jual bunga...

Ok you know what?

Since I feel so unloved and so unwanted, I'm going to spend my money on Esprit now. To hell with new baju Raya. I don't need another one. But I can possibly WANT another Esprit top.

Second day into Ramadhan and the Red Missy just HAD to come by yesterday.

Pisses the hell out of me cos then I'm sure the first few days of Hari Raya would witness me cringing with menstrual cramps and snapping at anyone who ruffle my feathers.

So today during lunch, my boss invited his paralegal a.k.a Me and his secretary to lunch. In public all, you know. I was a bit hesitant lah right, cos it's like so rude to eat in public during the fasting month when you look like a Malay. And I'm sure I look quite Malay, with hidung bawang all... (eventhough sometimes cab drivers speak Mandarin to me. But I'm sure the Chinese don't have goldfish eyes, no?)

So I agreed and lied to myself. I shamelessly proclaimed that I'm Eurasian today. Or that I have an Indian dad and a Chinese mum. Just so I can jolly well eat in public today and have my free lunch.

We ended up going to this mama stall selling nasi briyani, which is fine by me cos I was craving for briyani also. But shit lah, the owners are Muslim. I kept my eyes low the whole time. I don't know why I was feeling guilty, eventhough I have a legitimate reason for not fasting. I guess I was constantly reminded of the 'Respect Ramadhan' slogan. Took quite a guilt trip there, I tell ya...

So after plates of chicken briyani, popadoms, achar and mutton were polished off, we were just lounging with our tea at the table. And then this abang Melayu, say about thirty-ish walked past our table and STARED at me lah seyy! As in not just stare lah... He gave me the once over, tengok atas bawah siaaakk!! (asal aku bebual macam minah ni?) Lepas tu dia jeling. Jahat kan dia... Apa ni stare-stare, jeling-jeling... Aku memang tak boleh puasa aper. Asal, nak check?? Knnccb. I was quite pissed lah right and then I simmered after remembering that I, afterall, should respect the month.

Don't ask why I'm still in the office on Friday evening. Besides having no plans, I have to finish up on an Affidavit. I guess that's plan enough.

Thank you Eli !! Love love the Fetish. And the song.

Ok I've just read Leyana's entry about people wanting to commit suicide. And I realise that my second last entry ada berbaur macam nak bunuh diri. Tapi sebenarnya tidak. The entry was triggered by something and someone, and that in turn churned out more ideas somewhere along the same line. So yeah, don't worry. I'm not suicidal. I love Life too much. I wanna have a baby and all. Khekhekhe.

And Happy Ramadhan to all Muslims! I am relishing this month. Hope it's more fulfilled than the last.