whimsical flights of fancy

Speak Proper English Campaign

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I just heard the news on radio. Some minister/gahmen person was talking about his concern in hiring really good and qualified teachers to teach English. And he said it does not matter if these qualified people are foreign 'talent' or even those who have retired and considering to go back to teaching, so long as they're good and can make Singaporeans speak proper English.

Which brings me to this.

Last week as I was wandering around in a mall with Yan, we heard this small boy saying something incoherent. So the kid's father, who was beside him, said "Hah what did you say? Speak PROPRY!" Wah wah dengan penuh confident eh bapak dia marah... No, that was not a typo. He said 'propRy', not 'properly'. I shit you not lah seouls. As in, he is supposedly advocating his son to speak properly, right? Just that his 'propry' does not sound quite proper.

"Did he just say 'propry'?"

"Yeah he did."

"Maaakk aiii cacat siak. So much for teaching his son to speak properly." (This came from me, of course).

Please hor~ If you cannot speak propry yourself, please don't teach your son to speak propry hor, understand? Maybe you should just stick to your Singlish or your very bukit, very koyak Engrish.

Oh wait, you can't even say Engrish, because you say 'r' as 'ar-rer' hor, no?

the enigma was spotted at 19:11

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bitchy over ahakz

Friday, July 21, 2006

Yay! Yay! Gayle is out. There's just something not quite right with her singing. I heard on radio that in an interview with her, saying that she wants to be a fashion designer. Excuse me~ But if she were to design clothes, I wonder how they'll look like. I want to say something mean, but I shan't. Because I am quite sensitive like that. Not very, but quite. Tsk. I'm one to criticise about other people's singing. Stop it siak, Awin. Stop it. (In that minah tone. I see Eli smiling).

And I won't be surprised if the final two are Hady and Jonathan. And third would be Mathilda. This is like a deja-vu from last year... Olinda, Sylvester and Taufik. And the only reason why Mathilda won't be final two is because all the teeny-boopers girls will vote for Hady and Jonathan. But this time, Hady won't win because Singapore just won't let another Melayu win the Singapore Idol. Because then like that might as well call it Melayu Idol, kan. Ataupun dalam kata lain, Idola Melayu. Harhar.

Can I just put here... That I hate that word 'Ahakz!'. No, scrape that. I loathe it. Wtf is 'ahakz'? Is that supposed to be a laugh? A snicker? A half-laugh, half-cough? Apa, nyar... Apa tu 'ahakz'?

Sounds like some sound I make every morning when I'm brushing my teeth and clearing out the throat.

the enigma was spotted at 18:55

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the 4 on fourteenth

These are the pictures on the supposedly Awin's birthday. Awin is me, by the way, if you don't already know. Hurhur. I'm in the mood for being corny, okay. So up shut.

Eh sedap lah nyarr... Cakes from Secret Recipe. Can you see that chokfull of mango? Can you? CAN YOU? Try, jangan tak try. Wah wah free advertising ni...

Eli has got a long tongue. It's very good for... Well, you know... Licking. An. Ice cream.

They got me I Love Love by Moschino! I love I Love Love... Very the luuuurrve... Thank you, loves...

This is up on Eli's page but I can't help putting this up again. This is Paul Twohill Part 2 and Rahimah Rahim Part 2.

Ley and erm... Rahimah Rahim Part 3. Maz ni... EH TAK KENA LAH SEY SILA~ Rock konon. Rock lu. And Ley looks NORMAL in all the pictures. Not one retarded pose. Why Ley, why?!? Tengok Ratna... Teacher pun, tanpa segan silu ambik gambar tak normal. Hurhur...

Models Emo Toilet.

Thank you, gorgeouses. It was fun.

the enigma was spotted at 18:26

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parlour hotakkaula

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

On Saturday, I accompanied someone jamming.

I thought that since it's going to take him at least 2 hours tweaking the bass, I should probably get myself a massage or a manicure and such. So I wandered alone in the shopping mall. It's those kind of malls built in the 1980s that kind. Only a few stories high. And most of the unit tenants are either tuition centres, or barber shops, of hair salons. Gituk-gituk ahh... So I assumed there'd be alot of places offering massage services.

I went into one such 'beauty' centres for ear-candling. I asked about the service, and the beautician opened her mouth to tell me more. She was a she, until, she opened her mouth. EH SILA not a she lah ok... But got boobs all, if you know what I mean. Abeh dia pakai lipstick kan, comot seoul. Eh PLEASE eh~ PINK lipstick with RED lipliner! Maaakk aiii... Sebarang jer. So from far, all you can see is a red line circling what is assumed as a mouth. Hurhur. Jahat lah Awing ni. So anywayy...

She stuck the lighted candle in my ear and massage the area around it, what is known as the lymphatic nodes. When she's done, she peeled open the candle and showed me the contents of my ear. EH GROSS, understand! It's all black and wet and sticky. Hurhur. She said it's normal cos these dis-fucken-gusting stuffs cannot be removed my cotten buds. Then I said I don't use cotton buds. I used that metal senduk to clean my ears. She gave me a horrified face and a horrified sound. Ok I describe to you the sound she made eh. Macam a bit scratchy gituk. Macam your 14-year old brother on the verge of puberty and he's going through the transition from being a boy to a man and the voice is about to break. And sometimes when he talks, macam sometimes low pitch and high pitch. HAH macam gituk lah her horrified voice. I wanted to laugh seoul. But tahan ah cos rude mah. Hurhur.

So when that's done, I walked around some more and found a massage parlour. It's those kinda massage parlours whose name has a 'massage parlour' behind. But I assumed that since this is a shopping mall, there couldn't be anything shady about it. So I walked in confidently and anticipating a good one. Abeh dengan PENUH confident eh, looked at the hourly rates and say "Excuse me, can I have the..." when I was quickly interrupted by the woman behind the counter "Sorry hah Miss... You want massgae huh?" Eh nooo lah~ Last time I checked , this is a massage parlour, yo. "Erm yah..."

"Sorry hor Miss, but this is only for men leh..."

HAH APA?!?! Parlour hotakkaula nyarr... Parlour, as in, kepala hotakkau. Geddit? Hurhur.

(Eksyen cool only lah but I wanted to smash her head) "Oh? For men only? You mean this place is that-kind that-kind one ah?" Dah bingit ni. I also wanted to add "so this $35 for 45 mins is for a what kind of service hah, Miss?" I glanced to my left and saw a long corridor with many closed doors. Closed. Ada jer lah tu business ke haper.

"Hah what?" In that kinda bukit tone. Macam nak kena jotos seoul. Irritating sey her voice. At least the ear-candling beautician sounded more pleasant. Trans pun trans lah!

"Err ok never mind hor, Miss." And I spun around dengan penuh eksyen and stomped off, elegantly. I should have known. Anything that ends with parlour is shady business, ok understand. I left the place feeling stupified, like I can't believe they set up a place like this in a mall. How dare they.

the enigma was spotted at 13:40

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Thank you, you

Greetings, World!

First of all, I'd like to thank those of you sms-ed me with your birthday wishes. Too many to list here... But for every person who sms-ed me, I saved your names in my handphone just so that I can remember you for a few more days. Wah touching sey.

Secondly, to those who tagged me with your birthday wishes on the left here... Thank you so much! It was nice to come to work and see all your wonderful tags. It sure made my day!

Thirdly, I'd like to thank Eli and Maz who personally called me to sing their version of a Birthday song. Maz asked if I'm going clubbing that night. Hey pompuan! Giler eh? Go clubbing on a Monday? And trust me, Eli's birthday song sounded more like what 50-cent might sing. Chey. Hip-hop konon. Sepak kang. Kelakar bodo. But thanks ehh... Hurhur.

Fourthly, I'd like to thank all my fans out there, who sent me birthday wishes via telepathy. I got ESPn. And my ESPn received all your well-wishes. Hurhur.

Last but not least, I'd like to thank Yan for the wonderful time. It felt like us a few years back. And thank you for the time, because I know time is very precious to you. Love.

It has been a wonderful 22nd.

the enigma was spotted at 13:24

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that 23-year old babe

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is on this Sunday, 9 July. Sila watch, jangan tak watch. (Haha that last sentence sounds spastic).

Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom AND Keira Knightly. How can you NOT watch?

And this is for my darling Ratna, whom I've known when we were snot-sniffing little 8-year old brats.

Oh wait... She's still a snotty lil brat! Only now she have to hide her actual persona because she is a teacher!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVELY!! May we stay friends for years to come. And stay strong, luv.

By the way, I've given up on trying to make Nana take normal pictures like normal people. I've looked, I swear, and I can't find a normal picture of you, luv.

the enigma was spotted at 13:44

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uncertanties, I hate

Remember my last entry? Murky waters. Ok so suddenly, an opportunity presented itself.

Ok maybe not an opportunity. More like a possibility. I don't know if I should do what I do best - be impulsive and just take it up. That'll could either be 'suicide', or another step closer to what I want.

I used to have alot of balls. More balls than some men I know. But lately, the balls have turned to marbles. And even that, I'm slowly losing them. That's what you call, 'losing her marbles'.

I'm so bloody cryptic, right? I'm talking in circles. What, balls.

Maybe it's time to do that Istiharah prayers.

the enigma was spotted at 13:19

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