whimsical flights of fancy

Pompuan kebret who stole my cab

Friday, May 30, 2008

I was a very angry girl yesterday. Well at least for most part of the morning.

I was running really late, you know. I know I'm always late in the mornings but yesterday was exceptionally late. So it has been my practice to take the cab from my place to the MRT station every morning, pasal aku memang suka buang-buang duit macam gitu.

As I was waiting, there were alot of cabs that whizzed by with passengers in them. Abeh aku dah panic ni, mana takder satu cab haramjad pong lalu! Ketiak dah basah ni... Dah lah panas. Hurhur...

Then I saw this one ching chong fun dari jauh dah tengok kat aku. And I had a suspicion, ni jangan-jangan nak tunggu cab jugak tau... But then she walked past me so okay, I thought she wouldn't dare walk past me and hail for a cab right? Wrong!

I saw a cab with a green vacant light and weeee excited ni pasal dapat cab, tetapi sekali kan, eh cab tu berhenti depan perempuan ching chong fun ni lah!! Pompuan kebret! Nanti kau! Aku ada feeling she's going to the MRT station you know. I don't know why, I just do. So when her cab past by me (looking helpless and desperate), I stared at her and gave her my meanest look, the look I reserved for people I want to kill. Cheyba.

Soon enough, I got a cab and walked briskly to the train station, to the platform, and got myself a seat in the train. AND GUESS WHAT? Uh-huh, she was in the same train as me! Yay! HAH siap kau!!

So I sat down first in the train, in the 3rd seat. Then I saw her coming into the train. I stared at her and dia macam terpandang aku gitu abeh member terus tengok lain lah eh... Apasal? Takut eh? Guilty eh? Ah takper belum abis ni. She sat at the corner seat, so which means, somebody will sit in between me and pompuan kebret.

Abeh aku nyer sewel kan, just to have kicks, I leaned forward a little and stared at her again. Khekhe dia tak kena tempat gitu... So the whole journey, she was pressing herself against her seat just so she wouldn't see me.

It happened that I would get down before her so nak tau apa aku buat?

I kicked her foot yang tergantung cos she was sitting with one leg crossed over the other. HURHUR. Ah amik kau kebret!! Dah curi cab orang, nak step tak kenal pulak eh! She was sleeping lah when I kicked her foot, abeh dia terbangun macam terperanjat gitu. Biar mampus kau ada heart attack! Harhar wow I'm so mean yar but I don't care. She was a bitch. Steal my cab somemore lah, steal.

the enigma was spotted at 12:46

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Wowee Gastric Me

Friday, May 23, 2008

Wow, so alot has been happening this past week.

Went to a wedding, went to JB to visit a grand uncle, and went to P Ramlee The Musical! Hurhur... I know. I am very Melayu hor. But I tell ya, the musical was really good! When I see Musly Ramlee, it felt like I'm watching the real P Ramlee on stage, you know! The similarity is uncanny! Seram nyarr macam tengok orang mati hidup balik hurhur...

Every time when I watch a play, I get this painful itch to be on stage and act, you know. I get really pissed off and ask myself why the hell am I being an audience when I should be prancing around on stage saying my lines???!! I wonder why didn't I pursue this when I was much younger, when it's safer to throw caution to the wind then.

Took MC yesterday and the day before because my stomach was acting all funky. At the clinic, I was made to lie down and after checking my tummy, the doctor went like "Ah... It's gastric." Gastric?? How do gastrics come about? "Oh, it's normally due to stress... Or skipping meals".

APER??? SKIPPING MEALS?? BEDEK AH BEDAH, SKIPPING MEALS!! Aku tengok, aku ni makan berselera, skipping meals ke haper siak... Hurhur. And stress? No leh... Now I usually go home by 7 p.m. latest. That's still okay what.

I'm a newly-converted Man U fan, you know. I figured, if I can't beat them, then I should join them. So yesterday, I was at SJC with Yan and his friends and watched the plasma TV at the kedai kopi and joined the other Man U mats curse and shout at the screen when Ronaldo missed that penalty. Hidung jer tajam boleh buat potong bawang tapi penalty pun tak boleh harap. Nasib baik Van Der Sar bagus ok boleh tepis Anelka's penalty.

Wow aku bebual macam minah boleh step macam paham. AND alert sikit! What is this macam paham phrase that I keep hearing the young kids use so often nowadays?? Adik aku tak abis-abis "macam paham macam paham" when I went around the house singing Freedom by George Michael. So annoying okay this 'macam paham' phrase. Mat ke minah mana yang pandai-pandai come up with that ni??

*********************

Psst~ Hey you. Remember, (chinese boysssssss) Heh.

the enigma was spotted at 01:24

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My 1-year Anniversary

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Waddya know! It's been a year at my new work place! (which does not make it so new yar...)

I was just looking at the calendar and I was wondering now why does 14 May sound so familiar... Then it occured to me!

If you had known how I was a year ago, you'd probably wonder why I stayed on.

Anyway, things are so much better now. I don't know what changed but I'm not about to complain and sift through the intricacies.

Saturday at Batam with the girls was FUN!! I loved it!!

Thanks for the great time, Jila and Eli and Maz and Ratna and Ley the Birthday Girl!

I think I might go again this June with some other people. Wow confirm lepas Awin visit Batam, it's economy will flourish!

the enigma was spotted at 17:58

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To Brazil(ian) and back

Sunday, May 04, 2008

So the deed has been done.

I was feverish with fear as I stepped into Strip at a Malacca Street. The interior is very stylish, you know. They designed it in such a way that the whole place looks like the inside of a plane, and every treatment room is a cabin. The cupboards are fashioned like the storage compartments in planes. Very uber cool.

My therapist asked me to take off my underwear and cover myself with a big towel provided by them. Abeh semalam, I wore some complicated outfit where it took me some time to take it off and I haven't the time to cover myself with the towel when she just opened the door and went something like "Ok Miss, are you ready...." And I squealed out "No, I'm not!" cos I have not covered myself with the towel yar but then I thought, like, what the hell.. So shy for what cos she's gonna see everything anyway, so erm... I let it all hang out.

I think I was shy lah okay. You know how I know? Cos I was blabbering away at some shit thing like "How long have you been doing this?" and "Do you do your own Brazilian?" and "Are you from Malaysia?" in between snips and trimmings. Macam kepo kan, tapi padahal tengah stress.

Then she asked if I would like to have the white chocolate wax instead of the normal one and I asked what's the difference and she said that it's less painful and pointed out the poster to me "less pain, pain less" it says.

Hmm ok. I asked her if it costs more for the white chocolate and she says "Yes. Normal is $46, white chocolate is $60". EH MAK DATOK MAHAL NYER NYARR SETAKAT NAK REMOVE THE, APER TU KAK PAH? AMAZON FOREST? HAH MAHAL SIAKKK... But then I thought to myself, what's $14 compared to less pain so okay, I submitted to very good marketing.

I don't think I want to bring my readers to the whole experience lah eh, because let's face it. The process is not as smooth as the result haha. EH TAPI SIAK AH! IT'S SAKIT OKAY! When all has been revealed, she stood back and admired her handiwork and was satisfied with herself.

Warm wax and a few tears of battle later, I thanked the therapist and put on my clothes. Despite the therapist's professionalism, I felt slightly violated, you know.

Just something for the Brazilian virgins, ask for extra pillow or towel to scream into. Good thing my small pillow came in handy. I think I forgot to breathe too. Pasal lepas tu, aku macam pening-pening sikit cos lack of oxygen hurhur.

First thing I did when I was done was to sms Eli and Jila. And a few rude smses by Jila later, I was feeling better.

So that's it. I'm not a virgin anymore. But I must tell ya, WAHEY! IS IT COLD IN HERE OR WHAT?

the enigma was spotted at 17:01

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Today, we go Brazil(ian)

Saturday, May 03, 2008

I must admit, I'm scared shitless already.

I've been putting this off for so long, but I finally have to face it.

"Hi, I'd like to make an appointment for today at one, please".

"For what service, ma'am?"

"Err... For waxing."

"Ok.. Where?"

"Where? Err... You know..."

"Uh huh?"

"You know... The place where the sun don't shine".

(Ching chong fun) "Where again?"

(silence)

"You mean brazilian wax??"

"Ah yes!"

Eh, kenapa aku selenge nah ni!! I got completely stoned and couldn't even say brazilian wax cos I was too shy!

Ohmygod what have I gotten myself into!

It's like a personal challenge, you know. I think, brazilian wax is right next to childbirth in the pain radar.

Ok maybe not. But it's just as scary.

And the thought of another person looking into your bits... Hmm... Ah well. Some things just gotta be done.

the enigma was spotted at 11:43

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