HELP! I'M IN DISTRESS!!

Ok situasi nya macam gini.

I wanted to so badly go to the football match between Singapore and Thailand this evening. Yan can't go with me because he's got some dealings with a Korean band this evening. Alas, it's not Rain.

So being ambitious me, I asked his friend to help me buy 2 tickets for the match. I mentioned I might be going with my brother so his friend gallantly bought for me one adult ticket and one student ticket. ROBERT, ROBERT DE NIRO ALERT SIKIT EH SATU TIKET ORANG BESAR DAN SATU TIKET PELAJAR~

So when I got home on Monday and proudly announced to my brother he's watching the match today, he yelled "NO I CAN'T! I have Adam Khoo workshop!!"

Bloody hell.

Ini Adam Khoo, mana tak kaya-raya jutawan. Orang lain tengok bola, dia sebok-sebok buat duit. Eh one student dia charge $190 nyaaarr... There's about 20 of them tau.

Ni ah Cina, rajin buat duit. Melayu-melayu pergi tengok bola kat stadium. Termasuk, saya. Suka, aku bebual melayu? Hurhur.

Anyway, I told Yan to tell his brother that I have an extra ticket, thinking that I could perhaps just bring Wawan and at the same time, hitch a ride with him on his new bike. But that boy already has someone to tumpang his bike and now not only do I have only one ticket for myself, I do not have anyone to go with me. ANYONE.

So kira-kirakan, aku macam pathetic ni sekarang.

All I'm asking is, if you're going for the match, come lah ask me along to sit with you. Don't shy cos I won't be shy. I'll just sit with you. I promise I won't bother you and/or your company.

Kasihanilah beta. Untuk menderma masa anda, sila hubungi 1800-ZURIAT-TERBIAR.

Cheybah.

Ok aku cakap betul ni, tak bedek. Call me hor.

I went for a complimentary make-over last Friday and it was so weirddd!

I mean yeah, I like taking pictures and all but I don't like it when I'm instructed to turn this way and that and to smile like such and such. It's really weird. I had to constantly check the armpits of my rented cheongsam so that I don't leave any sweat stains. Stress nyaaarr.... Stress! Hurhur.

You know what else is weird? My brother's girlfriend.

Somehow, she has the thought that I hate her. Well, 'hate' is such a strong word. And I feel really insulted when he had to ask me straight if I hated his girlfriend. She was on the phone with him. He was holding onto the phone when he asked me - without covering the mouthpiece.

Oh and if you happen to read this, dear brother's girlfriend, please don't whine when you talk to him. I can hear you and I get goosebumps, yo.

And for my brother's sake, I will be civil. Because he's such a nice boy.

Ok takder macam gini jer lah, Dayana.

I'll poll my readers. And choose the one with the highest votes.

Readers, please choose one and leave a comment at the err, Comments.

A sparkling blend of pear nectar, cassis and violet, with hints of muguet & sandalwood.

Forbidden Fantasy
A dramatically delicious fusion of Mango, Passion Fruit and Jasmine.

Romantic Wish
A delightfully delicate fusion of fresh pomegranate, freesia & peony.

I went to a wedding on Sunday.

It was beautiful. From the decor right down to the drink dispenser.

Then the couple arrived to greet every table and salam-salam the guests. I was just looking on and smiling.

And ended up tearing.

Aku tak boleh tau, macam gini. Aku memang tak boleh tengok orang kahwin-kahwin tau, because I'll end up crying. I'm not even sure of why. Lagi-lagi ia diiringi dengan lagu-lagu Bryan Adams yang meretak jiwa gurindam lama tu ha.

Apa ni Wingggg..... KENAPER orang lain yang kahwin, aku yang nangis niiii.... I think I've addressed this before.

That's it. I'm not gonna attend another wedding until after I'm married.

Which is probably in another 20 years.

Wah choy ah CHOYYYY.... Touchwood ah Choyyyy and May. Hurhur. Choy and May are, by the way, twin MTV VJs.

I thought that the football match between Singapore and Malaysia would be held at the Kallang Stadium. It's actually gonna be held at Shah Alam Stadium. And here I was, baru nak bersemangat padu nak support Singapore! Yo-yo orh jer Awing.

I watched Leonardo DiCaprio yestervening. I mean, I watched Blood Diamond. But Leo was so distracting. That's it! Confession time! I have a crush on him! This is nonsense. I'm 23 and still having crushes! This cannot BE! (ala-ala Veronica Siah).

The feeling of that crush was so intense that I HAD to tell somebody. So I told Yan who was beside me, because he was the only one in the theatre that I know (d-uh, hurhur). I said "Yan, I'm so in luurrrve with Leonardo DiCaprio!"

He went like "Hrrmph!"

Then the next time the screen showed Jennifer Connelly, he went like "WAH.... SO HOT!"

Apa ni Yan? Ah? Kenaper Yan suka sakitkan hati Awin ni, Yan? Cheydeba.

But he has grown, that Leo. I've liked him since Romeo + Juliet, where he was still skinny. Too bad he didn't win a Golden Globe for his 2 nominations for Best Actor. I would be clapping my hands so hard while trying to stop my mucus from dripping all over my dad's marble floor. Hurhur.

*********************

This just in.

A man just dived into the MRT tracks at Eunos. I don't know how you're going home, Huda.

You know what's the best bit?

He didn't die.

So now he has to go through his life not with sympathy from people, but hateful stares.

I'm not being a sadist. Because, kalau nak susah payah terjun-terjun ni semua, inconvenience commuters and create costly operations, kenaper tak mati terus jer ni? Tsk tsk.

I hope he is able to settle his problems once he's realised he has just been given a second lease of life.

Didja miss me?

I've been feeling blue, green and yellow lately.

Green and yellow being the colour of my mucus and phlegm respectively. Hurhur.

Blue is because, I am cold. Hurhur.

I was on 2 days MC on Monday and Tuesday. The only ray of sunshine was that I got to watch Golden Globe Awards on Tuesday morning.

Sacha Baron Cohen (see my previous entry for the hairy de mary man) won the Best Actor for Comedy/Musical. His thank you speech was so rude, I'm telling ya. If you had seen it, you've know what I mean. He took many stabs at his co-host (Azamat in Borat). Somewhere along the lines of "I was left with 2 options - death OR to breathe in the air that has been trapped in the little pocket of space between (Azamat's) ass and testicles" macam gitu-gitu ah. Hurhur.

My fingers have been very itchy lately.

I've been having thoughts of snipping my hair again.

But I can't! I must keep my hair long! I MUST have long hair!

This morning, I saw a lady with beautiful hair. Tapi muka dia macam erm... Tak menarik sangat. But her hair ohmygosh it's gorgeous! And somehow her hair makes her look babesy (say 'beb-sy').

But I don't want long, straight hair because it's like yawn.

Anyway, I was messing about with Yan's MAC at the studio the other day and this was what I did:

Hello girls, can't wait to see you later!

I have been craving for herbal black chicken soup since last night.

I told Huda about it and she suggested I go buy some chicken from Lau Pa Sat and smeared it with kiwi black shoe polish. Sungguh jahat si Huda, ni.

Then this morning, I had another craving. Tandoori chicken. It got so bad that I went online to look at images of tandoori chicken.

All this food fantasy happened right after I had my breakfast.

Apa ni Wingggg.... Baru breakfast, dah ingat pasal lunch. Oh by the way, Wing is like the chicken wing hor. Hurhur.

Ok enough.

You must watch Borat. You MUST.

The humour is so dirty, you'd wanna wash yourself with Dettol when you get home.

It's the kinda humour that'll make you scream first, then scream with laughter, in disbelief.

Not for the conservative.

Or the Jews.

You'd know when you catch Borat.

After that, I had nightmares thinking of some giant balls.

Hurhur.

Sacha Baron Cohen deserves a slap. And a standing ovation. Awesome. Just awesome.

For a sneak preview of the laughs, see this.

For those who wonder, I get my mirrors from perasantankara.com.

Anyway, I just witnessed a video clip of Saddam Hussein's hanging.

I'm wondering if it's the real thing, or just a stage act.

Whoever is responsible for his hanging apparently did not cover his head with a cloth. I think they should, right? Something about how the tongue will stick out and how blood will ooze out from the eyeballs and all those gory stuffs you love watching.

That's what I see on tv, anyway.

On tv, the head is covered in black cloth probably because they use a dummy for the hanging, hence therefore thus, they don't want viewers to see that it's not actually the real actor being hung.

In any case, Saddam looked really calm after the hanging. Muka dia maintain sey. And if it was really the real amateur video footage of the hanging, then it was really cruel how they ended his life. Not so much about the hanging. But how they didn't let him finish 'mengucap' before they pulled the ropes. Macam dia tengah halfway sey mengucap, then nyawa kena cabut. I'm a bit disturbed by it. You want to end a man's life, let him at least the dignity to do it properly. It's like, URGH~ you understand?

My fingernails are so long... I can't type with long fingernails.

I don't know how the ah lians in poly last time typed with their super long, super shiny fingernails.

Anyway, I went out with Huda, Dayana, Azlin, Sushi and Suhaili yestervening. It was fun! We ate at Siam Kitchen and despite my absolute resolve to not eat so much and/or spicy food, I buckled under pressure and like the rest of them, ordered the buffet. I'm not about to be the only one eating some bland noodles while looking jealously at them slurping tom yum hor, please.

The buffet at Siam Kitchen is really nothing to shout about. Most dishes are cold. And I suspected that some of the food might be recycled from the last buffet order but ho well, I can't be sure.

There were some cam-whoring (where I insisted to be in every one of the pics) and there was also an occasion where an 18-year old waiter winked at me. Hurhur. I still got it, yo. Jangan main-main. HUR HUR. But only because I berated him for not pulling out the seat for me while he pulled out the seats for Azlin and and Suhaili. Not fair ok! I was the first one in some more. Tapi sebenarnya saya bedek-bedek ajer... But he did pull the seat out for me afterwards so hurhur I was just being a bitch like that.

After the buffet (where it's not really a buffet cos THEY served the food to us in small plates and hence therefore thus! it's not a buffet cos my idea of a buffet is one where you stand up ten thousand times to get your food. Well, for me at least), I flirted a bit with the Supervisor (no, Yan. Not your friend. Another Supervisor) and got free ice-cream for everyone!

You girls should really thank me ok! I is quite the convincing actress!

Aku SUKA buat kerja-kerja macam gini. I like trying to get them to serve me free food. Hurhur.

Macam gini, nak kena tulis kat Newpaper for their good service again ni. Hurhur.

Lai lai buah lai Sushi and Suhaili and Dayana send me the pics lai... Don't shy.

Hurhur.

Have a fantastic weekend, good people!

This was my grampa, Hari Raya Haji.

Dia feeling-feeling cowboy in baju kurung.

And this was I, New Year's Eve.