Kesian tau, saya.

I was hooray-hooray on Wednesday then got hit with diarrhoea yesterday. Such a bibimbab situation.

I don't love.

Not feeling too dandy today too but I think I'll survive.

I went out with Yan on Wednesday cos he's having a break too. We had lunch and bought movie tickets for that evening before Yan had to go off for his class at Circular Road. Which is near my work place. Macam apa stim sey... On leave then have to go my office area.

So while he went for his class, I went shopping at this warehouse sale. The address stated in my sms invitation was United Overseas House. Like where the hell is that? I only know United Overseas Bank, can? So I walked and walked and finally had to resort to asking for directions from this nyonya who was working at this push-cart selling accessories.

Me: "Hi excuse me, can you tell me where is Change Alley Aerial Plaza? Or United Overseas House?"

Nyonya: "WHY you want to go there leh?" (kepo kan, dia?)

Me: "Oh there's a sale there..."

She: "Oh SALE HARR..." (at this point, she started to check me out. EH NYONYA GAVE ME THE ONCE OVER LAH SEOULS KOREA! APA?!? Benda-benda yang aku pakai ni cheapo eh, setan?!?! Sorry eh Nya, even if I wear clothes from This Fashion, I'd look like a million dollars ok! Daripada baju karaoke kau yang shiny-shiny tu... Apa kira baju shiny jer, mahal ah tu? Hurhur). "WHY you want to go there?? Nothing there ONE! All big big size!"

EH AKU PUNYA SUKA LAH.

I found my way there with her scant instructions.

And came out with 2 Mango shirts ala-ala Retro, and another pair of pants shorts that I oh-so-love.

Then I felt like swinging by that nyonya's shop and wave my purchase at her and go like "HELLO Auntie ah!! See I bought something from there!! Where got big sizes ONE?? You think you so thin meh Ah Soh? I mean, Auntie??"

Hurhur.

I had some time to kill so I chilled at TCC with a Mocha Villa and waited for my ang-moh husband to finish his class.

Hurhur.

Eh betul lah aku macam feeling-feeling tai-tai yang berduit gituk, tak payah pergi kerja hurhur tapi sebenarnya tak.

Ok girls, for those who missed Suhailah's wedding, here it is!

Ju tengok mana jer tu. Confirm tengah tengok at the emcee Mat Johor tu tau... The one who keeps picking on Eli. Hurhur.

Happy 2007, y'all!

Halon kawang-kawanggg!!!

It was a nice weekend/holidays for me.

Spent Saturday at home nursing my ever-loyal cramps and watching TV. Wanted to meet Huda and Dayana so that they can oogle at some underaged boy and get free drinks but my cramps got in the way. When I have cramps, I am useless. Useless for housework, useless for any kinda work.

Then on Sunday, pagi-pagi seoul Korea I left my house to do my nails. Because I can't stand ugly fingernails. This is such a vast difference from my years of yore where I used to bite my fingernails until they bleed. Hurhur. Best tau, tapi. Macam gian ah bite fingernails. But now I don't anymore. I like 'em square and cuticles-free. They MUST be square-shaped.

Then off to Carrefour at Plaza Singapura for some halal meat for pizza, for the Christmas party that night. I know I'm a bit lor-so but PS Carrefour is the only place I know which carries halal pepperoni, salami and sausages. Takder bibimbabi. Hurhur. And I strolled round and round, pushing my trolley. I swear I felt like a tai-tai shopping for her ang-moh husband and half ang-moh-half melayu kids at home. Hurhur. But with the amount I spent, I think Canadian 2-for-1 would be more worth it. But it's okay. I made the pizzas with looove. Hurhur. Got a couple of non-alcoholic champagne and I'm good to go. Non-alcoholic champagnes are champagnes for wimps like me.

Yan's friends didn't believe I made the pizzas. I was a bit offended but I think I can cook hokay. A bit lazy to take out the pots and pans but I do like cooking. I asked this guy "Eh haper bila kau tengok muka aku, kau ingat aku tak tau masak eh? Ah? AH?"

He said "A'AH!" Jans kebs! Nanti kau!

That's short for jantan kebret, by the way.

I don't like baking though, because I think baking is such a hassle. You have to be calculative in baking. Every measurement must be right. Every ingredient must be available because a lack of any will just make the cakes/biscuits go kaput. And then after all that effort, jaws-jaws kat rumah aku tu can finish the cookies in 5 minutes. And tak kenyang pulak tu. Whereas for dishes, you can just campak-campak sembarang letak ni letak tu rasa-rasa sikit, then ok already. Hurhur.

So anyway, I made 5 pizzas with different toppings because si Yan tu action nak 5 different toppings but he's in his room sleeping. His sister and Bibik helped me so it wasn't so bad. I get nervous cooking in front of people. That's why I only cook when there's nobody at home. Hurhur.

The pizzas turned out fine. Habis seoul korea so they couldn't have been all that bad. Maz said I can open pizza shop yay yay then I hire you to potong-potong bawang, tomato dan mushrooms, ok Maz? Tapi nanti kau potong ada sikit lembab because you like perfection and for you, every slice must be perfect. Then later I rugi because time is money hor, please~ Hurhur.

The party was okay too. The girls and I watched Love Actually and I cried lor because I am a wimp like that.

I'm on leave tomorrow okay? Don't miss me.

Hmm I realise that I may sound like a total snob in my previous entry. I shouldn't be prejudiced against people who don't smell good. Afterall, it's not his fault he hasn't found a nice-smelling soap/perfumes of Arabia. I am not a snob. I just like nice-smelling people.

There is so much angst in the atmosphere. Too many finger-pointing and assumptions. I say, settle your problems within yourselves and do not drag me in it. I am not a bait. I am not an object you use to get back at the other person.

I love Xmas songs, for some reason. They're so happy-happy cheer-cheer.

Speaking of which, I'm just wondering here. Why do the non-Christians have to buy Xmas gifts for the gift-exchange Xmas party in the office?

I know it's the 'season of giving' and all but if you don't celebrate it, then should you partake in it? Ok I guess you could, but really, should you conform and feel obliged?

I mean, you don't give me ang-pow money for Hari Raya right?

Ok never mind. I guess Xmas is reason enough for people to spend and be merry, feeling obliged or not.

Another thing.

I am fully aware that there are people whom I know, reading my blog. If you're a random bloghopper, and you know me, then what's wrong with just saying Hi at my tagboard? Why leh? Cos you wasnt to remain anonymous and when you meet me, you just smile and pretend that you don't read my blog but at the same time, you know shit, right?

I sorta have an idea who reads my blog-the ones that know me, at least. I.e. relatives, friends from ten thousand years ago.

I just don't understand the logic. Kenapa you can say Hi to me outside but cannot say Hi to me online ni? Aku macam heran. Don't action pretend read silently lah.

That girl has gotten on my nerves and is still getting on my nerves. One of these days, I will make it so obvious, she will wonder why she still deserves to live.

Anyway.

During the weekend, I followed Yan to the factory. He gave his employee a lift to the MRT station. Now this guy, I suppose I must give you some background info. Let's just say, all the perfumes of Arabia cannot make him smell fantastic.

He got on the seat behind me and I was slapped with an aroma so strong, so AMAZING, I was momentarily dazed. Macam shocked, you understand? Yes, the term to describe the situation I was in is 'shocked'.

I held my breadth the entire time.

Then Yan HAD to ask me, "Best eh bau dia, Awin. Pening tak? Hurhur..."

So I had to breathe out and answer him with a "uh-huh" while trying not to slap him and laugh.

And when I can't hold on any longer, I breathed through my mouth. So there I was, ala-ala ikan haruan Polleny, breathing through my mouth. Hurhur.

And suddenly, I had a sudden urge to err... How shall I put this... Let wind.

Because I was breathing through my mouth right? Abeh macam tiba-tiba bloated seoul korea doha qatar.

I was trying hard to hold everything in, fearing that the smell I emit might kill everyone in the car. Hurhur.

BUT THEN. I figure out that whatever smells my flatulence would give, THAT guy's original body perfume would cover up the flatulence smell. So I let wind anyway. HURHURHUR.

After he left, I told Yan about my bodily functions and he laughed and laughed macam jantan saywhale. Hurhur. Ok dah. That's all.

And just for the record, my wind didn't smell okay. Because it was just air that I breathed in through my mouth. IF there had been any smell from the wind, it would be from that guy. What goes around comes around theory. Applied here.

Maz, you know how much we're looking forward to the Party Perek this evening. But since it is not to be, we 'take it to the streets', yo. Chey Ley haha...

A Crescentian is getting married this weekend!

(Ok I don't know why I'm doing this but I feel that I have to, albeit with a little bit of chagrin).

Anyway, Suhailah is getting married!! Yes the konon-konon fierce warden is getting married! The one who lived her 4 years in school with short, cropped hair and plastic, black-rimmed glasses. The one who will never be caught dead without a PE t-shirt underneath her uniform. Yer itu DIA! So if you didn't receive an invitation card from the bride, please excuse her confused state of mind and just come. Message me for the address, don't shy.

Orang nak kahwin ni, kan macam-macam kena fikir. Bunga telur lah, gubahan lah, baju lah, make-up lah, khemah lah, honeymoon lah... Hurhur.

I'll just state here eh, IF I marry, ALL Crescentians are invited by default eh. Tak payah kasi card. Aku post kat CGS website. Hurhur.

And then I have another wedding tomorrow (Dayana's colleague), so TWO weddings in a weekend. Ake stress lah orang kahwin-kahwin niiii.... Kenapa NI! Kenapa orang lain yang nak kahwin, aku yang stress ni! I also wanna get married! Hurhur...

Ok tak bedek jer :-/

Last evening, one of the lawyers made me nervous.

"Eh Faz, got boyfriend already or not? When are you getting married?"

I thought he had given up on that question for me.

"NO lah still got so much time. So early sia wanna get married."

"EH WHERE got early?!? You melayu right... Melayu maximum age to get married is 24, you know... You how old now? 22 right? Wah faster go find then cepat-cepat marry... Later expire leh..."

Eh setan!! APA YANG 24 YEARS OLD MAXIMUM TO GET MARRIED NI!!

I tried to ignore him but I can't seoul korea, because something else was ringing in my ears. My biological clock.

(Although I forgive him after that for thinking I'm a year younger. Hey when you're 23, any assumption of your age below 23 is good!)

Ok because I'm bored and because I'm a sadist a like that, check out my scar of womanhood, yo!

I'm at the studio.

Reading.... Mags made for the male.

FHM. NewMale. Go figure.

VivoCity is not what it's all hyped up to be. Yeah it's big and all but I notice something drastic and I'm really upset by this.

I ONLY FOUND 2 SHOE SHOPS!!

This cannot BE!! (Ala-ala Veronica Siah's tone).

Well, 3 if you count that shoe shop for kiddies.

Charkes & Keith and Vivie - this shop selling hooker heels. Cos most of the shoes are ugly and full of bling-bling.

Plead to Pazzion: Please open one store at VivoCity. I will love you forever and ever.

Ehem ok I MUST state this. I think Taufik Hidayat, the badminton player from Indonesia, is hot. Hurhur. His style is so laid-back, I wonder if he ever gets stressed out during those matches.

Don't jealous eh Yan. You're still my favourite.

It's finally Friday but guess what? I HAVE NOWHERE TO GO!

Yes, I MUST go somewhere on a Friday, understand?

See, Friday is like, a nicely wrapped gift - you shop around for the gift, you choose your gift, you pay for the gift, buy wrapping paper for the gift and finally wrap it up nice-nice then give it to the intended recipient. So, Friday is like that. You start with Monday, slough through the week and when Friday finally arrives, Weeeeeeeee... Time to let your hair down and hooray-hooray.

(Ok analogy not exactly accurate but wot-e-va).

Tapi tidak eh ini Friday. Hrrmph~ Benci.

I'll just go home and watch Survivor: Cook Islands.

I went to watch Bob the Builder the other day. I went with Melor.

When we watched Hi-5 a few months ago, the most expensive ticket was about $60.00. And the duration of the show was about 1hr 40 mins, with a 20-min interval. I think that was value for money, considering the little girl had so much fun dancing and singing.

But this Bob the Builder's duration was only 60 minutes! I feel cheated of my money! Why can't it go for longer!

Macam tak shiok kan? Budak-budak tu baru nak tangkap feel joget-joget then the show ended.

So it started off with Melor sitting on her elevated stool and refusing to go to the front to dance because shy mah... All the kids are seated so she didn't want to feel left out.

Anyway, I should probably tell you a bit about these kids concert. They have the normal designated seats. And there's a mosh-pit at the front for 'em kids to get jiggy wit Bob. Kirakan these kids can dance and sing along closer to the stage lah.

So I placed Melor there and let her dance. I swear I felt like a very proud single mum. Hurhur. It's nice to see that she's not a wallflower and knows how to enjoy herself. I wanted to go to the mosh-pit too siak but please hor, tak hensem sey dah besar ganyut nak join budak-budak joget hurhur.

My neighbour, this woman who was seated next to me with her son, was pretty nice. Because she had the aisle seat, I had to constantly excuse myself to go to the mosh-pit to check on Melor.

The last instance where I excused myself, the lady warned me "Be careful. The woman in front there is very fierce", while pointing to the front.

"Okay."

I didn't bump into the 'fierce woman'. The show ended, I collected Melor from the mosh-pit and went back to my seats, thinking it was the interval. Then suddenly I heard screaming.

"YOU SHUT UP!! YOU SHUT UP I'M TELLING YOU!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU SAYING!!"

Turned out, the fierce woman my neighbour was telling me about was having a bitch-fest with my neighbour.

She later explained to me that, before that, the fierce woman had shouted at my neighbour because she said she paid 'very expensive tickets' and hence therefore THUS, orang lain tak boleh pergi depan. Kira-kira dia VIP seats ah tu. Eh please hor, ah moi, we paid the same priced tickets, can. So the neighbour couldn't let the fierce and siao-siao woman get away with it so she had to tell her off. I'd probably do the same too if it had happened to me.

But above all, I think she's mentally disturbed. Because I don't think any parent - or anyone for that matter - would be shouting over small things like that. Eh dia pekik takder limit-limit punya eh sila~ Betul. Bangsa sampai anak tekak dia macam nak terkeluar abeh urat-urat leher dia sampai tegang all. She was dressed in smart pants and shirt. Bespectacled. Rambut bangsa perm kat salon bawah block punya. Red lipstick all. Quite a nondescript character, really.

It was embarrassing because she was shouting in full presence of other parents and small children. Where's the social manners, you may ask.

I was on MC for 2 days. After eating McDonalds ice-cream on Monday night, my upper lip swell to about 2 sizes its normal size.

Not only that, I have rashes all over my body. I can't sleep that night and I had hallucinations.

Ah nak sangat kan jadi adik Angelina Jolie. Hah nah amik kau! My upper lip ada macam ala-ala Angelina Jolie. Call me Awina Jolie.

The doctor said it's hives and severe skin irritation. Apparently, I'm allergic to something. Some viral infection thing. Aku iyer kan ajer... I just want my damn meds and MC. Tak senonoh siak jalan-jalan kat Gek Poh Ville dengan bibir swollen. It's like shit, understand?

It got better today, thank god. I should have taken a picture of myself with my sexy lip, yo.

Class 95 was playing Ratna's favourite song - "I Try" by Macy Gray.

Nak dengar cerita tak? Never mind. I'll tell anyway.

When we were in Sec 3 or 4, some of us girls were on the way to school together. Kita ni kan, sehati sejiwa. Pergi sekolah sama-sama, makan sama-sama, pergi toilet pun sama-sama... So one morning, we were walking to school and singing that Macy Gray's 'I Try'... Lepas tu kan, Ratna yang nyanyi paling kuat tau... Eh macam gini eh sila dia nyanyi:

"I try to say goodbye and I choke, try to walk away but I stumble, though I try to hide it, it's clear, I wear goggles when you are not hereeee...."

Eh? Goggles? KeNAPER ni Ratna??! HAH?? KeNAPER kau nak pakai goggles bila dia takder?!?! Ah nyah?

Confident pulak tu nyanyi. Aku suka orang confident. Hurhur.

I can't remember what happened next but I think all of us (except for Ratna, who was still happily singing away), stopped singing, stopped in our tracks and stared at her in disbelief.

KEnapa ni, Ratna?? Pak Man Tempe betul lah kau ni. Hurhur.