Yeap, you read it right. I have a pimple in my right eye.

It all started about 11 days ago. I had this itch in my right eye, and then the area around the inner eye was hurting a bit. Although it's not obvious to whoever sees it, it's there alright. Then last Thursday night, the pain went right up and a pus appeared inside the lower lid of my eye. You know, where your eyebag is? (NB Jila, where your Samsonite is ALERT!) So it's the INSIDE of the eyebag. It started off pretty small, then it grew bigger and bigger.

And aku pulak, pandai-pandai ingatkan pimple, so I let it be... Pasalkan pimple will subside after a few days if you don't poke it. PANDAI KAN SAYA TUANG-TUANG dan PUANG-PUANG. Pimple in the eye eh sila~

I went for DAYS with the pimple/tembel in my eye until I met up with a friend who works in a hospital lab and she advised that I better get is removed asap cos otherwise, it will grow bigger, harden, and then, I may need to have a day surgery to remove it. Saya macam panic sekejap eh sila tumpang lalu. So I planned to get it removed on Friday.

I went to the A&E alone and step mana peh berani, pergi sorang... But the pimple has to be poked. It has to be done, alone or not.

My name was called via the speaker and I was attended by this Filipino doctor (well at least she sounded like one) and I must admit, I looked pretty normal for someone who registers herself into A&E. No blood, no relatives by my side, mentally alert. So she was shocked when I lift down my lower lid and TA-DAA!! Hah amik kau pus-filled tembel! She looked at it for a few seconds and decided to call a senior doctor. Ni yang buat aku panic ni... Apa ni nak panggil-panggil SENIOR doctor semua ni! Cocok jer lah benda jahanam ni!

So I waited in the waiting room. A few minutes later, my name was called, again, via the speaker. Went into the room and a senior male doctor attended to me. He saw my tembel and he said "OH THIS! Don't worry, I used to have it like, 10 times when I was a kid". That made me feel lots better cos if a doctor has had it, then it's normal right, I thought.

He asked my Filipino doctor, to instruct me to put hot compress to encourage it to burst by itself and he gave me 7 days for the tembel to burst but I said "But it's been 7 days already!" and he said "REALLY??" and then asked the Filipino doctor to get some sorta anesthetic to numb the area. NOW, we're talkin.

He dropped some liquid into my eye to numb it and he said I should be feeling some stinging sensation to indicate that the numbing is taking place. HAH! Takder pong! I told him it's like normal eyedrops and it has no effect at all. And he said in his words "How bizarre!" to which I feel like continuing singing that "how bizarre, how bizarre" song hurhur... He told me to lie down cos he's gonna try poking the pus anyway. But when the initial sharp poke from the needle touched the inside of my eye, I gave a reflect action and blinked. He said he's not gonna continue the procedure cos it's not fair to me. APA yang tak fair ni, tuan doktor! Poke jer lah! It's so annoying having a tembel in my eye, you know.

Then he asked the Fili doctor to get something stronger, and when she came back, dia bawak kaum kerabat dia dari Philippines eh untuk tengok 'procedure' saya ni. How do I know it's her kaum-kerabat? Cos one sounded just like her. He said he wanted to see the 'procedure'. AH YELAH meh sini semua... Meh tengok kutil dalam mata kena poke.. Meh sini make me feel like a specimen from I Am Legend. I was lying there, unable to see anything cos my specs were off tapi aku nampak, macam ada satu bayang-bayang ni macam hensem. Sekali I heard him talk, EH MAT LAH EH SILA. Ah mat melayu ni, doktor ni haa. Hot ke apa NI! Cuma sila tumpang lalu eh, saya sungguh tak hot ni, lying there blind, with a kutil in my eye. Hurhur. So altogether, ada dalam kira-kira pakai kalkulator, AMPAT doktor lah kerumun-kerumun dekat katil aku ni. I couldn't ask to be a bigger narcissist than this.

My doctor came back and said to senior doctor, "Doctor, there's no more (insert stronger anaesthetic medical term here)." EH hospital apa ni! How can you run out of a medicine!!! To which he asked me "Young lady, are you brave? Cos if you are, I'm just gonna try another time to poke the pus". No way was I gonna look like a wuss infront of mamat doctor so I said "Yes, I'm brave. I have quite a high tolerance for pain". Neh ah high tolerance. Tapi takper. Kita cuba lah.

4 doctors and a nurse later, the senior doctor poked at the damn thing. EH SAKIT EH BEDAH, TAK BEDEK! So I said "Ok I bluff, pain PAIN!" but he didn't care, he continued poking deeper UNTIL I cried silently cos OHMYGOD have you ever felt a sharp needle ON YOUR RAW FLESH without anesthetic? No? OK takper, belum try, belum tau... Sudah try tak mau haha rip off from Ah Long Pte Ltd.

A few seconds later, senior doctor said "OK gauze GAUZE! Where's the gauze?!?!" abeh aku dengar macam ada orang kelam-kabut nak carik gauze. EH KENAPER sebelum dia cocok, taknak prepare ni semua benda-benda penting ni. "Where's the gauze? ASAP please... There's pus AND blood coming out!" HAH APER?!?! BLOOD? Eh kakak kau punya laki lah tadi taknak prepare tau ni semua... He was trying to keep his voice calm but I could hear a tinge of panic in his voice lah ok, don't try to bedek me. Tangan dia menggeletar, kau! His fingers were quivering eh QUIVERING. All this while, I told myself it's okay even if I have 1 eye to see for the rest of my life. And still crying, of course.

The gauze finally came but then he said "Please wrap this cotton wool with gauze please... And wet it a bit." OMG ada AMPAT doctor and a nurse dalam bilik ni and satu pong tak boleh harap nak amik kan gauze?? I can feel my tears and pus and warm blood dah meleleh keluar from my eye ni! Plus, doctor ni nyer fingers dah quivering, it's not helping at all...

The gauze-wrapped cotton finally came and he wiped the residue while telling me I was so brave and did well yadda yadda... And lepastu, semua left the room. Pasal show dah habis ke aper, jalan ah tunggu apa lagi... Nb. I waited for a few more minutes for the nurse to get the eye medicine and what-nots and I left the room with an eye patch. And my specs OVER it. Double tak hensem siak... I was woozy too cos I could only see with 1 eye. Waited again until my name was called for the 3rd time via speaker. By now, I was convinced everyone in the waiting room knew my name. Collected my medicine and left, still with the eyepatch, to go home.

When I took off the eyepatch at home, my right eye was filled with a sticky yellowish substance, although I wasn't sure if it's from the medicine or the pus.

And last night, I had a nightmare about a sharp needle poking my eyes, continuously. Hurhur.

Oh how fun it is to be me.