I think I'm dying. Really.

I have been coughing since 17 April and it was followed by flu a week later. My mucus and phlegm are yellow and gooey.

My body temperature ranges from 37.6*c to 38.1*c.

I have muscle pain and body aches.

Sounds like H1N1 right? I know.

To be honest, I've been feeling worried myself.

I got the cough bouts right after having some super spicy Indian food for lunch. Indian rojak came to mind, anyone?

This was followed by stress from work. Nobody would wanna be in my shoes really. I think my colleagues are a bit worried cos I've been coughing and spreading the germs. Well hello, I don't want this either but if I go on MC, who would do my work? Who would do my discovery?

My trial starts today and I don't even want to think about it cos I'm so pissed at this secretary who refused to come to the office to help me, citing, her boss told her not to because *quote* the rest of them can cope *unquote* 'Them' meaning me, my boss and the pupil. Eh nabei cibai if we can cope, we wouldn't have left the office close to 4 a.m. this morning ok! 3 of us doing copies and binding in preparation for the trial. I don't care. I'm gonna talk about work now. Come what may.

I don't understand this stupid girl. My boss already said we could use an extra pair of hands yesterday, and you know what she did? She called her boss to ask if she really need to come. And her boss, of course, said no. So I told her that her boss wouldn't know what are the documents that needed copies so obviously he told her she didn't have to come.

And this stupid girl of course didn't come cos the boss said no need what. If she got half a brain, she would take the initiative to come and help. And fuck it. This matter is her boss's matter lah ok. He asked my director for help and he in turn asked my boss to do the drafting and that's the only reason I'm helping.

I just can't stand the injustice of this. Everyone's busting their ass for this trial and what has she done for the trial? Nothing. Zilch. So fuck you understand. You can go around the office wearing spaghetti strap tops and show off your generous bust size but you couldn't help when shit needs to be cleaned up. And she still got the cheek to call me at 10.30 p.m. and ask if I'm done and then laughed when I said I have not. And your point for calling me was? Are you gonna come to the office to help? No right? So fuck you. And she's damn longwinded one you know. Already not there to help but waste my time talking to me on the phone.

It didn't help that I almost had heatstroke cos they wasn't any air-conditioning in the office, and I was sick and my immune system is whacked, and I was coughing up green glue, and I was dripping green mucus and I had dried up ones in my nose and had to breathe through my mouth and did not have the time for dinner. Can fucking cope, my perky ass.

I so angry you know. And now, I'm losing sleep and having nightmares because I have discovery to do. Discovery is like, the bane of my life. You will know when I have discovery to be done when I have eyebags and dark shadows under my eyes.

So so angry.