I always wonder how some relationships can withstand all the shits that Life throws at them. I'm sure they have their ups and downs (I can't help using 'ups and downs' eventhough it sounds very cliche and I hate that phrase), but I wonder how they always manage to get back out from the dumps. When I was sixteen, I never thought love would be this way. I thought it was pretty simple. 'This date, I pay for your McDonalds meal, next time we eat KFC, you pay ok?' But I suppose this is how things should be done. This is how love teaches you to be strong and be a better person, and in the process, moulds your principles, values and integrity. And this is how you love deeply and strongly, it hurts.

From the start of a legacy called Yan & Awin (cheydebah), there has been tumultuous chain of bad occurences that are always present to ruin us. There has been uninvited comments and criticisms about us, and how short-lived our relationship was going to be. How people accused me of being anal and how big of a control queen I'm going to be. What a doormat Yan is. How frigid I am as a girlfriend that he can't even steal a kiss from me.

I've tolerated all that, because I feel that they are out to ruin us. I've tolerated all that because I know that they have a low self-esteem and that by vilifying Yan and I, it makes them a 'bigger' person. Makes them feel good about their own shortcomings. Makes them feel powerful by belittling mini me. I've tolerated all that, and I can tolerate more.

But what I can't tolerate is when someone whispers evil things into Yan's ears and says nasty things about me. How Yan should be aware of my so-called 'bad' intentions. How probably one day, Yan is probably going to be left all alone while I run off with another. I cannot be sure of what this person tells Yan exactly, and he doesn't know too. But I can only guess and assume.

It's definitely the works of an evil mind and a black heart. Those of the suspicious superstitions. The darker nature, if you know what I mean. There's nothing Yan and I can do about this, except pray to the all-merciful Allah and ask for his enlightenment and guidance.

I adore Yan and I know that he is wise in knowing what's right and wrong. I just wish that bloody woman, who by all accounts has not seen me or spoken to me, would leave us alone. She has no right to say that I am evil, by judging my character and personality merely by the sound of my name. How sick and twisted is that, you tell me.

You tell me.