First and foremost, Happy Chinese New Year to all Chinese readers (though I sometimes wonder if I have any. Haha...)

At 6.15 p.m., I left my desk to visit the ladies. And as I was walking to the ladies, I saw a lady opposite me (from the neighbouring company) walking towards the ladies too. We smiled. Which means we had a good look at each other right?

So ok, we went to our respective cubicles and did our business. Nothing unusual, except for the fact SHE SUDDENLY LET OUT A FUCKEN SHIT LOUD FART.

I was SO mortified can!! I couldn't believe that she DARED to fart so loudly. I mean it's better than the Silent Killer smell lah but still!! So unlady-like. I mean it's different if you were to fart loudly when you're alone right?

And then I did the unbelievable.

I started to giggle.

And then the giggles turned to LOUD giggles. As loud as her fart. I couldn't help it...

So I left my cubicle and washed my hands. I was so sure that she wouldn't have the cheek to leave HER cubicle because it would be embarrassing to face someone who has just heard you fart, right? Wrong.

She left her cubicle.

And I was trying SO desperately to not look at her because I was SO close to asking her "Eh just now you fart ah? So loud sial!!" HAHAHA...

So there I was, drying my hands at the dryer lah, then wiping my hands with the paper lah, then looking at my gorgeous self to adjust my top lah (and thinking "oh I look hot today yay!"), then flicking away an imaginary lint lah - all in desperate attempts to not giggle again. I glanced at her. She caught my eye. And I ALMOST laughed! But I smiled instead. She gave me a "whatever ah' smile. And she left.

Without washing her hands.

Have an awesomely long weekend, y'all.

Pictures from Suhana's brother's wedding. May I just add here. That absence from a wedding because of rain is NOT an excuse, ok? It is lame and it smells of you not being sincere in going. I try to go to every wedding I'm invited to because I want people to come to my wedding. Erm, that is, IF I get married lah haha...

Ahh one of my favourite pictures.

Jila eksyen loving-loving with Chard but he tak layan Hahaha... Check out his contorted, disgusted face. It's ok Jila. Try again.

Erm yah so she tried again and was rewarded WITH !!! Richard's facial-oil. Eh, boleh goreng telur lah nyaaarr... Bukan goreng telur lagi, it's a bloody oil rig lah cann!!

Ratna and Shahrul. Is it just me, or is Shahrul looking HOT in here? The Lips. Hell-Oo?? Haha... Ratna, Jila said we should share boyfriends. So sila adakan sifat kongsi-mengongsi ok? Despite Ratna's retarded-ness, I like this picture.

Ley kenapa kau ambik gambar pegang sudu nii?!?! I liiike this one. Maz looked so loving with me haha... Eli and Ley also looked so loving. Alah kita ni loving lah, I can't stand it. Diam lah~

I am going for The Backstreet Boys Never Gone Tour concert tomorrow and I am not embarrassed to say this! HAHAHA...

YAY! YAY! YAY!

Tomorrow, I will be a teeny-booper. A groupie.

I can't fucken wait!! Tapi nanti dulu!! What does one wear to a BSB concert?? I was thinking of some top and jeans and erm.... Heels? But it's like so kakak-kakak kann... Knn haha... But it's been awhile since I last wear flats to anywhere, except to the shops downstairs. I love heels. I don't know how I managed without heels before. And I'm saying this not because I'm vertically-challenged. No. I'm saying this because heels give you that sense of self-confidence when you're in them. Not that I rely 100% on my heels for confidence - because that has to come from within - but you know, just that extra boost, that extra edge to make you feel like a slutty vixen. Hurhur...

And I still have that banner with the words "NICK, WILL YOU MARRY ME?!?" to make.

Ouh I can't wait.

So ask me in person and I will whisper it in your ears. It's not like an earth-shattering news or what lah, but I'm so gloating. Haha... Gawd I'm sucha fucken sadist. But I don't care.

And no, I'm not back with Yan *glares at Ley* Oh by the way, news can only be revealed to Washingtons.

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I caught some Jet Li movie on Channel 5 yesterday. Some action flick lah... (the again, tell me one Jet Li movie that has got no action). Can I confess that I have a crush on Jet Li?? Been awhile now, actually. He's hot lah! His fighting skills is so handal! So GAYA. MUTU. KEUNGGULAN. Hurhur... All that styled, choreographed hand actions. Imagine what else he can do with his hands! OuH La La... HAHAHA ok dah stop.

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Hear, hear Washingtons!

We're gonna have a chill-out session next Monday. I don't want to discuss the itinerary here. May I suggest we make use of the other forum for further plans. You know... THAT other forum.

THE WEEKEND IS HERE!

Go crazy lah, ok?

Call me, girls. I'm tired of being the organiser lah...

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For you, take care, ok? When we finally meet, you'll feel better. Promise.

I suggest, for the Babes Day Out, why don't we go for a picnic? Sentosa beach? Then again, they could be alot of people. All these Melayu-layu Melayu-Melayu would wanna go there right? Cos I'm not the only Melayu with that idea. Then again, I'm Jawa, not Melayu. ALah DIAM Lah Awin.

I have an angry headache now... Supposed to watch Derailed but some plans got screwed up and then I don't feel like watching anymore :(

I have alot of work. They just come and come and they don't go!! And yes, that's right, I'm still in the office now. Wait, am I alone? Fuck. I think I am.

When we say we're going out this CNY, when, do you mean, exactly? I'm looking at the calendar now and there's like 3 days hilighted in red lah cann... Sunday and Monday and Tuesday. So which one, girls? I suggest Monday or Tuesday. But we'll take a poll. Sila vote at my tagboard.

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday

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I called Maz last night, hoping I wasn't too late in wishing her Bon Voyage. I was. So I messaged her instead and bla bla later, she replied "Thks babe! I'm at (left blank to protect Maz's whereabouts). Banyak BABI la makan. Kembang tekak aku makan sayor aje. Takde mat. Semua cina sepet. Nanti aku bawak balik satu untuk kau. Muack."

KEPALAHOTAKKAULA MAZ CINA SEPET!!

Because we all know how I like to kirim one green-eyed white Moslem whenever my friends go to European countries right, Maz took it upon herself to offer me a Cina sepet. Saya taknak Cina sepet nyaaarr... Saya nak Cina mata besar. Hurhur...

I hope she comes back in time to join the party.

I just read Fidza'a entry about going out on Chinese New Year because none of us have Chinese husbands/boyfriends/fiances. Yet. Haha...

EH MEH LAH JOM KITA KELUAR!!! JOIN THE PARTY~ (the tone used in Ali Setan)

So the whole bunch of us went to visit Aim yesterday. Yeah he looks better. Ratna's mum said that Aim can eat solid food now, like porridge. That's way better than being put on a liquid diet. Can I also say here that Aim has quite a number of hot friends. Hurhur... I know it's not appropriate to be discussing about hot males when we're visiting lah but it's just an observation, ok. Not on a male rampage here. Haha...

N.B. Hey Eli, I looked up 'harem', and it actually refers to 'a separate quarters for the women of a Muslim household', you know... But I guess for our case, it can also be referred to as 'a harem of straight, sane and smart males for the the Washingtons'.

Please take note Ley, harems CANNOT be shared. Harems are the sole property of it's owner. CANNOT be shared. Boyfriends can.

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I think, I'm done being petty and done feeling hurt when I'm not included in things.

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Ok here's the deal, girls.

I'm quite tired of having to answer questions of whether Yan and I are together. You KNOW we're not. Just because I still meet him and we hang out frequently does not mean we're together.

Ok so there are some painful break-ups where the couple just don't see each other anymore, either because they're still nursing a broken heart or they can't stand to see the face of the ex. Yes, mine was a painful break-up. So painful that I became bulimic. But I guess I'm the sort of person who just forgives easily and move on. I just pick myself up and move on. Yes, I like to reminisce about the past and think of all the good times, but I also have my feet firmly grounded and I always value my sense of worth.

I don't see the point in being angry forever because I have learnt the value of life, too. And if it feels right going out with him, I don't see why I shouldn't. If it feels right going out with him AND other guys at the same time, I don't see why I shouldn't too. Afterall, I have the priviledge of the Single tag.

And really, I don't have to explain anything more to anyone why I'm still meeting him but because all of you are interested to know, I feel that should say something in my defence. And you can put a halt to all those gossiping and speculating. It's not like I'm dating him exclusively anyway. I do have other guys in my harem.

Oh it's good being single.

You single girls, throw your hands up in the air and say "Aye!"

This is for my lovelies. My pillars of strength. The Washington Apples. The Crescentians.

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Eli is my Queen. My lesbian partner. Hurhur... I am so glad that she has grown to be oh-so-pretty. I've learnt more things about her in the last 3 years than I had in the 4 years in secondary school. Fair-skinned and skinny, it is not a surprise some girls are envious of her. Tapi please eh, she's not a bimbo. She's smart and if there is EVER a song title or artist I need to know about, I'll call her. (In fact, come to think of it, we're ALL smart. The conventional kinda smart AND the erm, the non-conventional kind). She may seem all quiet at times but trust me, it's not because she's stoning. I think she's thinking. Is it, Eli? Eli is ultra-sensitive when faced with all things concerning the heart. I hate to see her heart broken. But you know what, luv? You always have us and your nieces and your nephews. Now THAT, is priceless.

(Dont' forget me when you're up there soaring the skies. Because I heart you, ok slut!)

I'd say to all the guys who has hurt her feelings, your loss. Really. And if Eli does not want to go out with you, just leave her alone. She knows what is best for herself. And if she doesn't, I do.

My other Queen. Yes, kita memang feeling-feeling royalty. Jila is a basket case gone really wrong. Ask Richard. But despite all that, we love her still the same. Jila was one of the first few people I met in Seconday One. In fact, I saw her in school when we both were buying our school books - she was accompanied by her mum and Ija and I was accompanied by my dad. And believe me you, she looks waaaay better than she did 10 years ago. The long hair and all, they're magnet for guys! These past few days, Jila, like Eli, has been dispensing some good advice for me. Now it's very rare that Jila talks sense but when she does (hurhur) I listen to her. That's why I heart her.

Her undying love for Richard: Unbelievable.

Her undying love for her family: Even more unbelievable.

I know I can count on Jila to knock some sense into me. Very practical and grounded. That's Jila for you.

Ratna and I, we go waaay back. We were 6 when we were admitted to Primary 1. And never looked back since. She's that kinda person, how shall I put this... The kinda friend that you don't see for MONTHS but when you finally do, you can just pick up from where you left it. It's unexplainable. I know she's always there for me, somewhere. And FYI, I still keep Ratna's ultra sweet Birthday cards to me. The part where you scolded me because I taught you 'bad' things. Like how a baby is produced. Yeah... Way back in Primary 6 in the girls' toilet. I still remember Ratna's shocked expression on her face. Hurhur...

I must tell you that she is one of the strongest people I have ever seen. Ever. Her current difficult position has only made her stronger, I think. So much calm and serenity when I'm with her. I was very touched when I saw her whispering zikir in her brother's ears. Somewhere in me, some sort of emotional buttons were pushed and it was a moment I know I'll remember for a very long time. My prayers are with you and your family, luv.

My upper secondary partner. Somewhere along these years, there was one particular glitch. A bump on the road. But I know you want to put this behind you, and so do I. I know there are people who want to break up the tight circle all of us girls have built but we only prove them futile.

Oh and the love and care she showered upon her ageing grandmother is very admirable. Juggling school and grandmother is no mean feat, but she does it. Maz is a loving person and that can sometimes lead her to misjudge people. But I think she has learnt that not everyone is good, not everyone is trustworthy. And not everyone is worth loving. She has grown into a beautiful person inside and out. So Yayy!!! Generous, kind and thoughtful. I heart Maz.

Back in school, Ley was just one of those girls that I said Hi and Bye too. Another girl from school. It was, however, AMAZING how close we've gotten. Perhaps it's the same nasty predicament we both were at. Perhaps it's the comfort knowing that I'm not the only one hurting from the same thing. Perhaps it is because I can actually relate to someone who feels the same way as I do - the hurt from a love gone wrong.

And Ley is so smart, ok. She's a Science geek. And who says Science geek can't design?? Hell-o?? Look at my blogskin, can? Lawa kan nyaarr... Hurhur... And Ley is so in touch with the people in her surrounding that she can instantly tell if you're ok or not, just by looking at you once. Which is why she'll make a good teacher. Like how Ratna will too. Hang in, there sweetheart! Next time I call you Miss Leyana.

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I still have more Crescentians to mention. To give shout-outs to. I just want you to know, that each and everyone of you are special to me. I heart, heart, heart!!

Ok dah. I have a date now.

(Ley, stop screaming at me because I have a date! I'm sorry lah but you need to get your own harem, you know. Cannot share.)

My Indian colleague asked me "Were you born an Indian in your previous life? Because you are more expressive and more Indian than I am, you know..."

Yeah.

What she didn't know is that, I also dig Indian guys. Well, some anyway.

This is so deja-vu. I feel that I've talked about this before.

And she asked me to try-out for Suria. Vasantham Central, she meant.

I wanted to start my virgin entry for 2006 with a shout-out for all my favourites, but I got lazy and well... It's already the sixth day of 2006. Maybe soon huh...

So I was on leave from work yesterday. Went to JB with Yan because we're Singaporeans like that and we want cheap food, cheap buys and cheap deals because we're cheap like this (Hurhur I talk like Ley).

Had sushi for lunch. Wah that was the first time I eat Japanese full tanpa waswas dan sekenyang-kenyang nya! After that I walked like a Sumo wrestler hurhur... Ok tak funny.

We decided to have dinner at Secret Recipe. The food is so much cheaper compared to the Secret Recipe in Singapore. It's like, same price, but in Ringgit Malaysia. It's a bargain, I tell ya.

So this is the scenario eh sila~

Yan and Awin walked into Secret Recipe, waiting to be welcomed and our table showed to us. But nooo... So we pandai-pandai jalan masok dalam sendiri cari tempat duduk. But before we walked 2 steps, a waiter stopped us and said "Excuse me, that table cannot use! Reserved for four only!" I turned and looked at him. Nak marah sekali tak jadi sey pasal dia ialah Mak Nyah. So I said "Well ok but you didn't show us our seats so how are we to know..." He looked at me blankly.

Waiter: Table for how many people?

Me: Two please.

Waiter: Two pieces? Ok eh table for two PIECES! This way ehh...

Yan and Awin: (??)

EH SILA EH!! TWO PIECES KEPER!! CAN SOMEONE TELL ME IF 'PLEASE' SOUNDS LIKE 'PIECES'?? Pekak betul lah Nyah ni!!

AND CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU REFER TO PEOPLE AS 'PIECES' !!! MAKKAU. KEPALAHOTAKKAULA NYAAARR..... PIECES. "Can that piece of boy at the back of the classroom please stand up". "Hi, can I have a piece of boyfriend for my birthday if that's not too much to ask for..." "Wah that piece of a guy is hawt siaaalll... I want."

Kesian.

Yan and I were holding our laughter while he showed us our table.

And then in true fashion, we made fun of him after he left.

Ok ni part best. Take note eh, same Nyah Waiter.

Me: Hi can I know, for your Fish & Chips right, how do you cook it? Is it dipped in flour batter or breadcrumbs?

Waiter: (blank look)

Me: Yah... So... (Raised left eyebrow)

Waiter: Oh it depends on the cook. Like some places, they cook differently right? Here, it's cooked differently. It's standard lah, STANDARD.

Me: Oh ok. So it's two PIECES right? (Hurhur)

Waiter: Yah two piece of fish (note the absence of plural). STANDARD.

Me: Oh ok never mind. Just get me the Chicken in Turmeric Sauce. And Chicken cutlet in Mexican for the gentleman.

After taking our orders, I asked him to repeat our orders. "One Apple Juice, one Lemon Tea, one Grilled Chicken and one Chicken."

Me: What's that chicken? The other one... Not the Grilled Chicken?

Waiter: Erm... Chicken (Blank look)

EH APA NI INI NYAH!! BUAT AKU CONFUSE SIAK!! AKU RUNSING LAH NYAAARR... Apparently he doesn't know the pronounciation of 'turmeric'!! He was avoiding saying it!! Kau darah up siak. Hurhur...

But I shouldn't be so mean horr... Kesian dia. He must have spat on my food before serving them.

Ho-well. Patut lah sedap.