I stuffed myself silly with all the food in the pantry.

Apparently, the manager's birthday is quite an affair here.

He bought us like, durian ice-cream puffs, peach cream puffs, strawberry and mango tarts and kickass chocolate buns, one where chocolate is smeared on top with more creamy chocolate filling that OOZES out beautifully when you bit into it. PLUS a colleague bought some chocolate and vanilla cream cake from Secret Recipe and we all know how calorie-induced cakes are from Secret Recipe. HELLO CAN ANYONE SPELL FAT???

Meh sini meh, I tell you what I had. Half a chocolate bun, half a peach cream puff, DUA durian ice-cream puffs and a generous slice of that cake.

OK AGAIN, ROBERT ROBERT DE NIRO, CAN ANYONE SPELL FAT??? But I foolishly told myself that it's okay because I didn't have lunch anyway. But I bet all those sinful indulgences were worth more than a decent lunch.

Ouhh I cannot say the word 'worth' without thinking of WentWORTH Miller. Or the word 'went', for that matter. Or 'miller', another example. See, his name is made up of words that actually has a meaning, as opposed to say, umm, Awin? Hurhur.

Anyway, can I just say here that I hate sending people off at the airport? It's emotional and too dramatic for me. I'd tell myself that I won't cry and all and then what did I do? I cry. I swear the tears just naturally come! Ni namanya, bakat semula jadi. Suria should just stop organising all those Anugerah Skrin and just hire me to be their next Big Thing. Hell, HOLLYWOOD should just hire me! Aim higher. I'd win an Oscar in no time, just like how Jennifer Hudson won an Oscar for her Supporting Actress role in Dreamgirls. I'd be the FIRST malay female to ever win an Oscar. Ever. Hurhur.

Speaking of the Oscars, I'm so pissed with myself. I was so excited to catch it last night that I quickly showered and had my dinner and shit, just to fall asleep at 10.30 p.m. and missed the juicy bits of the Academy Awards. Yo-yo orh lah Awing.

Anyway, my consultant looks EXACTLY like Telly Savalas, I swear! He looks like this:

Hey Yan! Have fun at Hong Kong, you jetsetter you!

And no, I don't want any Hong Konger, Muslim or not. You DON'T have to bring back one for me. Because, you know... I don't really dig sepets. Except for maybe a few (read: Rain). Hurhur.

Jangan termakan bibimbap ok...

(Ok I know bibimbap is not pork. I know it's a Korean chicken/beef dish. But I like saying 'bibimbap' in reference to pork ok? Because I think the word is SESUAI with the said food item. Hurhur).

So kira-kirakan NI... I will be single for about oh, 4-5 days? I almost forgot about this, until Jila the Flirt reminded me that I will be for the next few days. Hurhur.

P.S. And Yan, no hanky-panky with your boyfriend over there.

Ok to prove to you how HAWT Abang Wentworth is, meh sini meh. Tengok. Lai, lai don't shy...

I must be really sick, because I BLOGGED TWICE TODAY.

Now, when was the last time something like this has happened?

I'm going bonkers, I'm telling ya... BONKERS.

Anyway, I just want to berate Jila here. Fadzillah Fawzy? Konversasi kita di MSN has never happened, ok? Never.

Hurhur.

Oh I just want to gush a bit here, actually. I caught the first few episodes of Prison Break Season 2 and hello? Siapa boleh spell p.a.n.a.s ni?? Itu Wentworth amat panas, betul tak bedek. But I noticed something amiss in PB2. I guess I didn't see so much of Wentworth's squinting eyes, like in PB1. Probably because in PB1 kan, involved a lot of planning and scheming so muka kena macam ala-ala thinkinggg....

And in PB2, it's more action than talk. So kira-kirakan Michael Scofield the Brain has to be Michael Scofield the Brawn hurhur ohmygawdIthinkIamverylamebutit'sthefluIswear.

Which leads me to this.

I was on MSN with Latifah the other day and she said that she's convinced Wentworth Miller is either a) gay or b) has an unimpressive err.... Equipment.

a) because he's too good to be straight. We agreed that no straight man can be as perfect as him; and

b) because even if he is that perfect from the outside, then he must be hiding some sorta imperfection inside. Hence therefore thus! He's got an umimpressive equipment. Hurhur.

Her theory, not mine. Mine was a).

I think I am such a sickly person.

My immune system has gone bonkers. It goes on a holiday too everytime public holidays come along. Ok that's lame, but you get my drift.

I wanted to take MC today but if I did, then it'll be so weird cos it might seem like I take an MC on purpose right after having 4.5 days free.

Tapi macam mana ni sekarang, I sound like Cher and my nose has been twitching involuntarily seoul Korea, tak hensem ok. Macam gatal-gatal sikit pong ada. My nose, gatal. Not me, the person. Hurhur.

Went to another wedding on Saturday and this time, I didn't cry! Hooray for me! I'm getting immune to weddings! Hurhur. I think it could be due to the fact that they wasn't any sappy, love songs playing. Ala-ala Bryan Adams macam gituk punya pattern. Cuma ada lagu kuda kepang and some dangdut and rok dulu-dulu, yang so not tears-inducing so it's all cool. Haha...

I went to the wedding with Yan and Jila and Hassang hurhur. The world IS small. I knew the groom wayyy back at Mendaki. Yan knew him then too. And Jila was in the same course with him and Hassang so it's like yeah, let's-go-to-the-wedding-together kinda thing. Only last time during Mendaki, I thought this groom was quite cute but then he didn't save me from the class bullies, unlike Yan. Hurhur. Yan is da bomb okay. At 10, he was brave enough to save me from the class bullies and at the expense of his pride. Hurhur. Old story.

Anyway, if you like weird, multiple stories that intertwine, maybe you'd like to catch Love for Share. It's in Bahasa Indonesia and it's M-18 with some sexual scenes. Only the sexual scenes are not so steamy. They make me laugh, more like.

And there was an ah-pek beside Yan who caught that movie alone and WHO WANNA BET WITH ME ANGKAT KENING, that he's just there for the non-existent 'sexual scenes'? Haha padan muka dia. Wasted $8.50 and he probably didn't even have an erection HURHURHUR opps a bit vulgar with my language over there. Sorry. But really, halfway through the movie, I could hear him getting restless and he was fidgeting. Wah seh wah seh ah-pek chikopek hor ah pek... Lu pergi balik rumah tolong bini lu siap-siapkan yusheng kan bagus pekkk.... Boleh lohei lohei, don't shy. Then maybe you can get some from your wife and not have to resort to M-18 Bahasa Indonesian movies lor, ah mai? Hurhur.

I need some looooove because I'm sick. Come on, people. Gimme some love. Saying things like I'm beautiful and I'm the bestest will surely make day, and hopefully, drive the flu away too. Hurhur.

Sorry Ratna, a bit late. But this is for you!

Visit this site, girls! You might find something you like!

Look what I've received yesterday morning!

I think it was from a secret admirer, because there's no card accompanying the tulips. Hurhur...

But thank you! I very the loooves them!

Buah-buah epal Washington, let's get ghweady for tomorrow!

Kita makan sampai boncet ok! You know the place. About 7-ish, 8. So that's enough time for those who wanna pray first, ok. Kalau nak makan seafood ni, mesti diiringi dengan beer tau! Jadi pandai-pandai eh korang arrange for own transportation untuk balik. Maz and Fidza don't clever-clever wanna drive and ride. Nanti dah mabok todi, susah nak balik. Cheyba. Hurhur.

I think I just used the words 'mabok todi' and 'pray' in the same paragraph. Hurhur.

Everyone's welcome to join. When I say everyone, I don't mean your boyfriends/husbands/scandals are invited too hor, please (note to Jila, Robert Robert over and under!). Cuma buah epal jer.

Ok! Let's get gweady to ghrumbleeee....

P.S. Bring camera ok, you cam-whores, don't shy.

I watched Apocalypto and The Last Kind of Scotland. Eh best tau!

These 2 movies are not those kind that you watch and then you forget. Well, not for me, at least.

More so for Apocalypto. I kept thinking about it days after. Like, I keep playing the movie again in my head. I think it could be due to the fact that Rudy Youngblood was quite cute too, in all his dayak-ness and heroism. Macam, I feel that men who can take care of women and children and provide for them, very attractive. Hurhur.

This is a bit late but the match on Sunday was pretty exciting, balls.

Imagine my mum, dad and brother screaming and scolding the Thai players, especially No. 7. Mak eh, muka ala-ala gangsta Siam sey. Sideburn punyalah berserak! So biadap, he. So kurang ajar.

Apa ni main headbutt-headbutt!! Kesian Amri. Nasib baik dia score.

And then there's another poor Malay boy who kena tendang dengan the Thai player. I'm not sure if its No. 7. Lepas dia tolak budak tu, dia tendang pulak ni! So I asked Faiz why the Thai player tendang that Singapore player, and he said "Pasal dia geram ah... Nak bola abeh budak tu tak kasi..."

EH MESTI AH, MANA BOLEH KASI!!! APA INGAT GULA-GULA KEPER, BOLEH KASI-KASI FREE?!?!

NI KAN FINAL ASEAN FOOTBALL CHAMPIONSHIP!

Cheyba.

Aper jer. Abeh nak marah. Ni ah jans kebs. Macam budak-budak. Tak dapat bola, merajuk. Kena penalty kick, merajuk. Kelakar lah Siam-Siam Kitchen ni. So childish. Kalau macam gini, eh jangan main bola lah! Main masak-masak. Masak-masak best. Boleh share-share periuk.

So it's been awhile since I last heard my dad swearing. The last time was when we were on the road and he was cursing at some motorist.

Bapak aku ni, kalau maki, kelakar tau. Dia maki bedek punya. Aku tak takut sey dengar. Hurhur. Macam mana tau... Ok contoh eh. Kirakan kat tv, No.7 dah jotos budak Singapore player ni ah. So my dad got so offended kan, he said "Shit YOU!! Understand?? Mana boleh main macam gini ni??? TAK BOLEH!! SHIT YOU! Bloody ****!!" Ah macam gitu-gitu ah...

So apa lagi! Faiz and I join sekaki and setangan. To which, my mum got stressed. She said she can't watch anymore pasal dada dia dah sakit, cos too exciting. So I told her to go into her room and watch Suria or something. Cerita masak-masak ke... Drama makcik-makcik ke... Arena tv nyanyi-nyanyi ke... Low tension punya benda. Jangan eksyen kuat, tengok bola. Hurhur.

In the end, I went with my manager, and another lawyer.

Kinda pity them though. I think it was supposed to be an all-male affair but they had to drag me along. Not only that, they treated me to nasi lemak and coke, PLUS a ride to Kallang Stadium and another ride to Yan's studio after that.

I felt so liberated Wednesday night!

Aku maki-hamun tak agak-agak punya lah... I shamelessly screamed along with the other spectators after the mandatory tet tet tet tet tet tet tet tet tet! Aku rasa seperti ala-ala anak menyut. (FYI, anak metropilitan and Hanyut = menyut). Hurhur.

Wah tapi the match was so controversial. Sungguh happening nyaaarr~ Aku SuKA marah-marah referee eventhough I know he can't hear me.

Abeh mat-mat menyut sitting behind us say things like "EH REFEREE BALIK KAMPONG AH MAKAN CHAPPATTI!!" Cheyydebah mat. Konon-konon bagus ah tu pasal kan rhyme referee and chappatti. Hurhur.

*********************

I have taken to playing Solitaire to zone out. It's very effective. I don't have to think. Solitaire keeps me from thinking, which is good because when I think, I get very uptight and tense. And it shows.

I think those who are close to me know that I am an open book.

I cannot pretend to be cheery when I'm not. I cannot pretend to make small talk when I have a lump in my throat.

I think you know that I have always avoided talking about work. Some principles of mine, because I think it's not professional to blog about work. I have refrained from it, no matter how angry I am.

But I think now, I can't hold it in any longer.

But I'm not about to do just that here.

That means.

I might just close this one and start a new one. And it shall only be read by a selected few. Kira-kirakan, macam exclusive gitu ah. Cheyba haha.

Thanks Yan for letting me cry yesterday when we were out. I hope it didn't ruin your time.

I have been putting this off. But I think it's time to move on.